Did you enjoy school? If your answer is yes, chances are that you were intelligent, academic, from a wealthy family, well dressed, well-liked, didn't have red hair and consequently got on well academically and socially and were never bullied.
Bullying isn't the only reason that children - and particularly teenagers - hate school - there are many other reasons, but I know of two families who had teenagers who committed suicide because of bullying at school and, despite endeavours to discover and stop it, it still goes on.
The saddest thing is that children who are bullied often believe it's their fault - they are not good enough and that's why they are not liked and picked on. This is simply not true - everyone is different, each child is good at something and all children like different things.
What is really important is that children and young people feel they can talk to their parents about it - that they are believed - and that the situation is dealt with sensitively. If your child is reluctant to go to school there's often a very good reason. Imagine waking up every morning and absolutely dreading the day ahead and feeling powerless to do anything to change it. When this feeling of dread becomes worse than the horror of suicide, it is easy to see why someone can make the ultimate choice with tragic consequences.
Home education is a real alternative and, with internet access to learning anything online, it is relatively easy to do. Electing for home education means no threat of prosecution and, if nothing else, you can find out the real reasons why your child hates school and so something about it. They can always go back to school – it can easily be a temporary solution. You just write a letter to your local education authority stating that you are electing for home education - and do it.
It is difficult doing GCSE’s at home – and we found it impossible because Kirt couldn’t go to school to do exams or practical tests – but you can do IGCSE’s online http://www.cie.org.uk and there’s always the Open University. In practice you are likely to find that your child soon gets really involved in learning about what really interests them, they will research it online, find out the forums and other sources of information – and really enjoy learning.
When Kirt, our middle son, had difficulty going to school we felt we didn’t have a choice – it was the law – children had to go to school – and this view was reinforced by grandparents and friends. Eventually, after struggling for over a year of persuading, cajoling, pleading, often driving to school and coming home again, we were sitting in the rest room at school when the Education Welfare Officer came over to me and said: “Are you sure it's Kirt that doesn’t want to leave you – or you that doesn’t want to leave Kirt?” If I had realised exactly what she had said at the time, I would have hit her. As it happened, it didn’t hit me until on the way home – it was one of those ‘light bulb moments’ when it feels like someone has just switched a light on and, all of a sudden, you can see things clearly. I said to Kirt: “If this is the level of understanding you are experiencing at school, you’re not going back!” and he never did.
Our journey into home education began with a fatal car accident on 22nd December, 2003. We were travelling back from a visit to see Father Christmas at the Candle Workshops down the A41 when a car came out of a side road, stopped, but then carried on across our path and we had no way to avoid it. The car hit us and burst into flames. Kirt was in a position in our car to see clearly everything that happened and the fact that the other driver involved never got out of her burning car. All the family suffered afterwards but it had a profound effect on Kirt – not immediately - but if wasn’t long before he couldn’t bear me being out of hearing distance – he was terrified something would happen to me. Children grow up believing they are safe, nothing can happen to them - and they don’t see the consequences – we have to teach them to cross the road carefully, not to throw stones – we protect them. Because we couldn’t protect Kirt, he felt vulnerable and lost his trust in being safe. We didn’t of course understand why he was like this at the time, post traumatic stress disorder was just something we’d heard of – and it was quite a long while before this was diagnosed and even longer before we were offered treatment.
Once we had taken the decision, it was such a relief not to have to go through the same process every morning. Kirt really enjoyed being at home and learning. To begin with, we started doing ‘lessons’ at home, but then we met up with other home-educating families and learned that this was not necessary, We were told that it takes six months to ‘deschool’ which meant really finding out what your child is interested in and using that subject to learn everything else. Kirt found he liked programming and he’s now working freelance for web development companies learning new programs as they come out. His mind is tuned to learning programming languages and to him it is not work, he enjoys it. Since he was thirteen and home educated full-time, he has mixed with all ages, he could hold his own with adult conversations, he’s very capable of looking after himself and very independent. At 19, he now travels all over the country and has not suffered from not having GCSE’s or going to university.
Happy to answer any questions about Home Education or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Friday 5 April 2013
Friday 5 June 2009
Acton Scott Working Museum
We joined lots of other Shropshire volunteers at a thank-you event at Acton Scott working museum near Church Stretton.
It was a beautiful evening, the air was still, with a hazy sun in a reddening sky. While we gathered around the introductory speech, a robin hopped around on the barn roof and cocked his head on one side as if he, too, was listening.
When I finally climbed into bed my head was full of piglets and haymaking, brick-making and butter-churning, lambs and ducks, cobblestones and farm carts. I was reminded of the time when I used to climb over the half door and sit with the calves at the farm at the bottom of the hill. Calves were small and docile. There was a later day when I was grown up when I had to stand with an electrician in a barn full of cows and stop them knocking over the ladder he was standing on. Cows gradually get more and more bold until nothing you do frightens them away – and they’re so big!
The piglets were gorgeous, soundly asleep alongside their mum in an old-fashioned pig-sty. The last time I saw piglets it was at the Royal Show and the mum was in a cage so small she couldn’t possibly turn around with all the piglets lined up feeding. I’ve only bought Freedom Food pork since then.
This picture I’ve entitled ‘total contentment’. If we didn’t eat meat, pigs would probably be extinct as we don’t drink their milk or use their skin for much (correct me if I’m wrong). We might not like the idea of killing animals for meat but the fact is that to get milk a calf needs to be born – and you can’t keep all those calves as pets – can you?
Beautiful old trees sheltered a pool surrounded by wildflowers, foxgloves and alkanet, buttercups and campion – pinks and blues and yellows all vying for space around the water. Wild ducks swam lazily, dipping their heads and dripping water droplets spreading rings across the water.
We were taken back to an age when time was getting the hay in before it rained and muscle-building was butter-churning and cheese-making, bale-lugging and ploughing, and energy was provided by shire horses pulling the ploughs and turning the wheels for machinery.
How simple life seemed then, working with nature to earn a living, provide food on the table. How many of us these days, in 21st century England, I wonder, would be able to survive without food shops?
It was a beautiful evening, the air was still, with a hazy sun in a reddening sky. While we gathered around the introductory speech, a robin hopped around on the barn roof and cocked his head on one side as if he, too, was listening.
When I finally climbed into bed my head was full of piglets and haymaking, brick-making and butter-churning, lambs and ducks, cobblestones and farm carts. I was reminded of the time when I used to climb over the half door and sit with the calves at the farm at the bottom of the hill. Calves were small and docile. There was a later day when I was grown up when I had to stand with an electrician in a barn full of cows and stop them knocking over the ladder he was standing on. Cows gradually get more and more bold until nothing you do frightens them away – and they’re so big!
The piglets were gorgeous, soundly asleep alongside their mum in an old-fashioned pig-sty. The last time I saw piglets it was at the Royal Show and the mum was in a cage so small she couldn’t possibly turn around with all the piglets lined up feeding. I’ve only bought Freedom Food pork since then.
This picture I’ve entitled ‘total contentment’. If we didn’t eat meat, pigs would probably be extinct as we don’t drink their milk or use their skin for much (correct me if I’m wrong). We might not like the idea of killing animals for meat but the fact is that to get milk a calf needs to be born – and you can’t keep all those calves as pets – can you?
Beautiful old trees sheltered a pool surrounded by wildflowers, foxgloves and alkanet, buttercups and campion – pinks and blues and yellows all vying for space around the water. Wild ducks swam lazily, dipping their heads and dripping water droplets spreading rings across the water.
We were taken back to an age when time was getting the hay in before it rained and muscle-building was butter-churning and cheese-making, bale-lugging and ploughing, and energy was provided by shire horses pulling the ploughs and turning the wheels for machinery.
How simple life seemed then, working with nature to earn a living, provide food on the table. How many of us these days, in 21st century England, I wonder, would be able to survive without food shops?
Wednesday 3 June 2009
It wasn't the rats
It wasn't the rats - the next day I noticed lots of great tits twittering in the trees above the portacabin - the baby birds had left the nest and are flying around! The rats did eat my ducklings though!
Last night we took sleeping bags and lay on the trampoline outside watching the stars come out - and the bats flying around - they go so fast - no way of knowing what sort of bat they are.
Today I took pity on Betsy (yorkshire terrier cross - stray) and bathed her and cut her hair - she looks quite a different dog now - she's got legs instead of moving around like a mop (bit like Dougall in the magic roundabout!) Everything's a bit lopsided as she wouldn't keep still - but she's much cooler. I call her 'shorn' now. I found two fleas - dog fleas are much larger than head lice - and they jump! They also drown - thankfully. I remember once a teacher telling us about fleas - she said she got one once and the only thing she could do was fill a bath with water, take her clothes off one by one and shake them over the bath. Funny how things stick in your mind. That was of course why cinemas used to be called 'flea pits' because you picked up fleas from the horsehair seats (my mum told me that.)
The polytunnel's up but it's too hot to go in it! Forecast is cooler tomorrow and rain on Friday so should be able to plant things then. I've never grown melons before so it will be interesting...
I need a longer hosepipe to reach the polytunnel - don't fancy lugging watering cans across there.
Tried making some comfrey organic plant food. Evidently you cut up comfrey leaves and put them in a large bin with a little hole in the bottom. The bin needs to be raised off the ground. Put a jar under the hole and as the leaves decompose the organic solution drips into the jar. Dilute with water and use as a foliar feed. Unfortunately, I didn't read the instructions in the book first and did it from memory - I just put a load of comfrey leaves in a bucket and filled it with water. I'm sure I've read that somewhere - will have a look at my other gardening books.
The baby rabbits are 6 weeks old today - 9 of them - I've moved them to their own cage. They can go to new homes now but I prefer to wait until they are 8 or 10 weeks old.
Going to have a look at twitter now
Last night we took sleeping bags and lay on the trampoline outside watching the stars come out - and the bats flying around - they go so fast - no way of knowing what sort of bat they are.
Today I took pity on Betsy (yorkshire terrier cross - stray) and bathed her and cut her hair - she looks quite a different dog now - she's got legs instead of moving around like a mop (bit like Dougall in the magic roundabout!) Everything's a bit lopsided as she wouldn't keep still - but she's much cooler. I call her 'shorn' now. I found two fleas - dog fleas are much larger than head lice - and they jump! They also drown - thankfully. I remember once a teacher telling us about fleas - she said she got one once and the only thing she could do was fill a bath with water, take her clothes off one by one and shake them over the bath. Funny how things stick in your mind. That was of course why cinemas used to be called 'flea pits' because you picked up fleas from the horsehair seats (my mum told me that.)
The polytunnel's up but it's too hot to go in it! Forecast is cooler tomorrow and rain on Friday so should be able to plant things then. I've never grown melons before so it will be interesting...
I need a longer hosepipe to reach the polytunnel - don't fancy lugging watering cans across there.
Tried making some comfrey organic plant food. Evidently you cut up comfrey leaves and put them in a large bin with a little hole in the bottom. The bin needs to be raised off the ground. Put a jar under the hole and as the leaves decompose the organic solution drips into the jar. Dilute with water and use as a foliar feed. Unfortunately, I didn't read the instructions in the book first and did it from memory - I just put a load of comfrey leaves in a bucket and filled it with water. I'm sure I've read that somewhere - will have a look at my other gardening books.
The baby rabbits are 6 weeks old today - 9 of them - I've moved them to their own cage. They can go to new homes now but I prefer to wait until they are 8 or 10 weeks old.
Going to have a look at twitter now
Wednesday 27 May 2009
Rats
The rats got at the great tits - the tile was moved slightly this morning and all the baby birds have gone. In the last year rats have killed and half eaten a whole litter of my baby rabbits and all my ducklings. We've only got two ducks and I wanted some khaki campbells and indian runners, so we found a place in Exeter and called in on the way back from Cornwall. The ducklings had hatched that morning, they sat on Logan's lap all the way home. They were so tame, they stayed in the conservatory with a light bulb for heat for a week then we put them out on the lawn in a pen each day for weeks until they were big enough to go in a pen at night. The pen was Pip-proof (Pip is our Jack Russell / Paterdale cross) so I thought nothing would get them - but the rats did - they tunnelled under the shed part of the pen, ate two and left the rest dead - it was terribly upsetting.
Where do the rats come from? The local ratman from the council keeps coming along and putting poison down and we keep finding dead rats every so often. I keep all food in sealed containers - so where do they come from and why do they keep coming?
Well maybe next year the great tits will use the tit box made for them which would be much more sensible. The robin didn't have much more sense - we put a robin box, made specially for him, in the barn but he had to make his nest in a roll of canvas, hanging precariously from the barn roof! Happily all the baby robins survived and have now flown the nest.
Forecast is good for the weekend.
Where do the rats come from? The local ratman from the council keeps coming along and putting poison down and we keep finding dead rats every so often. I keep all food in sealed containers - so where do they come from and why do they keep coming?
Well maybe next year the great tits will use the tit box made for them which would be much more sensible. The robin didn't have much more sense - we put a robin box, made specially for him, in the barn but he had to make his nest in a roll of canvas, hanging precariously from the barn roof! Happily all the baby robins survived and have now flown the nest.
Forecast is good for the weekend.
Tuesday 26 May 2009
Black Panther
Dear Blog,
Mike (next door) has been saying he's seen a big black cat in our fields for ages now. Last week he said it had been in his shed and had left a rabbit skin behind. Mike's not the sort of person who imagines things. Then on Friday, mother-in-law was house-sitting and she said she had seen a big black animal but it went so fast she couldn't see what it was. Yesterday I was spot spraying a big patch of nettles and found a hidden flattened patch in the middle of the nettles. I've always wondered why the rabbits don't eat my vegetables when everyone else around here complains that they can't grow things because the rabbits eats them. Could it be because of a black panther ?
There's also a tree in the big field which has been used as a scratching post - to about 5 ft high. Must be a big cat to do this. Just hope it doesn't find the great tits' nest before the babies can fly.
My baby rabbits are 4 weeks old now - they are New Zealand Whites and very tame, very friendly and never bite or scratch. I used to breed them for meat (white meat, tastes like chicken, very low cholesterol and better than battery hen meat) but I've found I can sell them for more as pet rabbits now. They'll be ready for new homes in a month's time - end of June.
Off to tidy up the polytunnel and put a table in there for my plants.
Bye for now
Mike (next door) has been saying he's seen a big black cat in our fields for ages now. Last week he said it had been in his shed and had left a rabbit skin behind. Mike's not the sort of person who imagines things. Then on Friday, mother-in-law was house-sitting and she said she had seen a big black animal but it went so fast she couldn't see what it was. Yesterday I was spot spraying a big patch of nettles and found a hidden flattened patch in the middle of the nettles. I've always wondered why the rabbits don't eat my vegetables when everyone else around here complains that they can't grow things because the rabbits eats them. Could it be because of a black panther ?
There's also a tree in the big field which has been used as a scratching post - to about 5 ft high. Must be a big cat to do this. Just hope it doesn't find the great tits' nest before the babies can fly.
My baby rabbits are 4 weeks old now - they are New Zealand Whites and very tame, very friendly and never bite or scratch. I used to breed them for meat (white meat, tastes like chicken, very low cholesterol and better than battery hen meat) but I've found I can sell them for more as pet rabbits now. They'll be ready for new homes in a month's time - end of June.
Off to tidy up the polytunnel and put a table in there for my plants.
Bye for now
Monday 25 May 2009
Dear Blog, It's been a beautiful weekend, we finished putting up the polytunnel today. Didn't realise it would take two days to put up! It's 10 ft wide and 20 ft long and it's all ready for my cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers and melons that are growing in the conservatory.
Today I've done lots of weeding, transplanted leeks, spinach and fennel and sown french beans, lettuce, radish and spring onions.
The hoe is truly the gardener's most useful tool - but I think my little cultivator comes a close second!
Also planted busy lizzie plants everywhere which has brightened up the garden.
Found a great tit nest in a hollow concrete block half covered by a tile - there's a beautiful ready- made bird box ten feet above it, safe from cats - why choose a nest on the ground? Blue tits are busy feeding babies in the next box on the end of the washing line pole. The lapwings are busy in the field - I love to hear there pee-wee-it calls when I'm gardening. The swallows are back, swooping over the fields.
Well time for a well-earned rest and my book. Back soon
Today I've done lots of weeding, transplanted leeks, spinach and fennel and sown french beans, lettuce, radish and spring onions.
The hoe is truly the gardener's most useful tool - but I think my little cultivator comes a close second!
Also planted busy lizzie plants everywhere which has brightened up the garden.
Found a great tit nest in a hollow concrete block half covered by a tile - there's a beautiful ready- made bird box ten feet above it, safe from cats - why choose a nest on the ground? Blue tits are busy feeding babies in the next box on the end of the washing line pole. The lapwings are busy in the field - I love to hear there pee-wee-it calls when I'm gardening. The swallows are back, swooping over the fields.
Well time for a well-earned rest and my book. Back soon
Sunday 17 May 2009
Sunday
Dear Blog,
It started raining so thought I'd work out how to write a blog. Now I've got this far the sun's come out so I'm going outside to plant my peas. See you later.
It started raining so thought I'd work out how to write a blog. Now I've got this far the sun's come out so I'm going outside to plant my peas. See you later.
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